simple me

Monday, November 13, 2006

son

I need to toughen my son up. He has been bullied in school and the teacher says he is too soft. He says to me" violence doesn't solve anything" when he was asked by his cousin "why he did not retaliate".
After a while, he forgets who the bully is and befriends him again , to the extent of keeping the bully's money in his (son's ) pocket when asked to do so. I was afraid that the bully will accuse him (s0n) of taking his money.But my son says, " people change..for the better".
I am told I must toughen my son up to face the real world.
How do I do it? Any suggestions? He is 9

9 Comments:

  • he has very positive and heartwarming outlook. friends mean the world to him. ;)

    By Blogger nyonyapenang, at 7:56 PM  

  • well..

    Imagine if everyone is a bully. then there'll be no one left to bully (the bullees)

    I think personality comes into play here. You can't expect a softer, kinder personality to become a lion. Just like the zodiac signs, ARIES, LEO for example are fire signs and would not be afraid to stand up for wrongs. Other signs are retiring in nature and would rather avoid a confrontation.

    Some of us will adjust and adapt. Some of us will never (be able to confront a bully) in our lives.

    By Blogger Las montaƱas, at 12:53 AM  

  • nyonyapenang, he takes after hubby in that respect!

    LM,so are you the bully or the bullied?

    By Blogger just me, at 4:05 AM  

  • Sounds just like my son (except that my son will beat the pudding out of the bully and THEN be his best friend). He gets in trouble for fighting at school, but he has the gentlest, simplest, most forgiving, generous heart of any child I have ever seen. I don't think he has ever thrown the first punch, but it is reflexive with him to reciprocate a punch. This, too, is a problem. Gets him in trouble with the school officials (however, it does significantly reduce how much he is bullied).

    I worry about him because he is overly trusting. Like your son, he only sees the good in other people...even those who have mistreated him. I worry that others will take advantage of him. But, so far, his has been a self-fulfilling prophecy...he only sees the good in others and, over time, that brings out the good that is in them.

    The world is a much better place because of people like your son...and my son.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 5:48 AM  

  • Dublin... I know the world is a brighter place because of people like our sons...but my strong protective maternal instinct rears its head sometimes...

    By Blogger just me, at 2:25 AM  

  • i can't offer any solution for now, but i can add my son to that list of "gentle boys".

    for a boy, he in uncharacteristically soft & accomodating. he often is bullied by boys of the same age & maybe that's why he prefers socialising with the girls. & he's quite the charmer, too!

    there's still a long way for him to go, as he's only 4.

    By Blogger doc, at 8:25 AM  

  • I wuz there too... sounds like me at that age. I firmly believed that the good nature in the samsengs and the kakis ponteng in school would triumph in the end. Hey, i made HP in school even with a soft spot like that.

    But keeping contraband money would've given me sleepless nights.

    By Blogger Bernard, at 9:07 PM  

  • doc, your son must be a charmer like the dad?

    bernard, you must have been soft but firm!

    By Blogger just me, at 1:36 AM  

  • just me, that's a new oxymoron for me! :-)

    By Blogger Bernard, at 5:55 AM  

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