becoming a mother

My daughter who is 12 asked me the other day at what age is the best time to to become a mother. I told her that it is best to have the first baby before she is 30 years old.Anyway, I have to confess to her that I couldn't follow my own advice. I had both kids after 35 years old because of circumstances. But then I wonder whether my reasons to be a mother are entirely selfish. Thank God that my kids are born normal and healthy at 7 lbs 3 oz and 8 lbs 13 oz!

doctor

I met a friend today who told me that her son wants to take up medicine. She and hubby are trying their best to help their son achieve his dream.A medical course in a private university is very costly .
I know another friend who is very well-off. He won't allow his son to pursue medicine though because he thinks the monetary benefits are not worth it.His son is a high-achiever.
Which parent will you emulate if it is your son?

A or B

Once a girlfriend sought my advice on whom to consider as a long -term boyfriend. Guy A has the gift of the gab and is very expressive. Guy B is the complete opposite.
How would you advise her?

P/S She didnt follow my advice.

A or B

A girlfriend once asked me for advice on whom to choose as her long-term boyfriend. Guy A has the gift of the gab and is very expressive and full of sweet words for her. Guy B is not expressive and the complete opposite of guy A in this respect.
How would you advise her?
P/S She didn't follow my advice.

A or B

A girlfriend once asked me for advice on whom to choose as her long-term boyfriend. Guy A has the gift of the gab and is very expressive and full of sweet words for her. Guy B is not expressive and the complete opposite of guy A in this respect.
How would you advise her?
P/S She didn't follow my advice.

interviewer

Hubby took daughter to a nearby stall to get some fruits which she has been craving for. On her return, I asked her if the fruits were from the seller's orchard. She replied, " mum, dad doesn't "interview" people!"
Well, it is true that I always like to chat with people and daughter knows this, whether at the market place or elsewhere.! And I am always one of the first to welcome a new colleague at my workplace.
Is that a "blessing" or a "curse" , that quality I have?

birthday

Hubby and I attended his friend's 50th birthday's celebration . I posed this question to the birthday guy " What did you wish you know when you were 25 years old ( he last celebrated his birthday then) that you know now?"

What answer would you get if you were to ask someone you know?

"multiple"

My 9 year old son was giving me a synopsis of a movie . He said" this guy has multiplle girlfriends and they are taking revenge on him". I was curious with his use of the word "multiple" . Come on, being only 9, he has yet to master all his multiplication tables as it is.So, I checked to see if the movie review contained the word "multiple". It didn't!

"me -time"

My favourite "me time" activites are:

1) taking a walk for at least half an hour
2) curling up to read a novel
3) watching a movie
4) tea-time with friends
5) going to the morning market to get the choicest fruits and best bargains ( this is bonding
time with daughter as she accompanies me)
6) time at the salon for a "make-over'
7) reading blogs
8) doing the above without being ruled by the bell, as opposed to a working day

What are your favourite "me-time" activites?

Mr. A

I was visiting my relative at the apartment where she stays. I saw this man, (let's call him Mr A) feeding the fishes in the pond within the apartment block. I went up to him and chatted with him. I learnt that he was a residing in one of the units in the aparment and that he was the one who started to build the fish pond from scratch, using his own money. The site of the fish pond was an eye sore and a breeding ground for mosquitoes . But now, it is the favourite place for kids and adults alike.
I salute Mr. A and hope we have more of him around in our community. Can we aspire to be Mr. A also?

teaching

Frank McCourt got his first book out at age 66 and the second at age 69. The first was "Angela's Ashes" followed by "Tis". I have read both and now I am looking for "Teacher Man" , a memoir. He was an English high school teacher for 30 years and wrote of his struggles as a teacher. I know I should be able to relate to them.
What keeps some of us going as teachers is the thought that we are doing something worthwhile even if only one child is influenced by us!
Have you been influenced by any teacher in your life?

blog

When I told my 9 year-old-son that I am blogging, he asked, " Oh! you mean like en electronic diary? And you are going to write about your thoughts and daily experiences?" He added" you, as a parent should have lots of experiences to share!"

Anyway, I haven't been blogging about my personal experiences , only thoughts which may be stirred by daily experiences.

unconditional love

A mother's love is unconditional. She loves her children without asking for anything in return. All her actions are for the good and future of her kids. All the night feedings, all the tears , all the anxities when her kids are sick, she does all these without a complaint.
I cannot think of any other human being who offers such love to another. Any other kind of love falls short of a mother's love.
But when the kids grow up, who do they shower their unconditional love to? Do their mothers get to experience any of such unconditional love in return? In some cases, not at all.

Kids and marriage

I was told that in a certain country, a childless marriage is a choice. One reason is that the cost of living is so high that people do not want kids. Raising kids is expensive, they say.
I wonder why these people marry if they do not want kids.The statistics show that marriages of this type also enjoy a high rate of divorce. One need not wonder why. Children bind a married couple together, in most cases and in normal circumstances.
Saying that, I do have married friends who are childless but NOT by choice. Some of them adopt and life goes on.
Should kids and marriage go together? What do you think?

Power of words

When I was about 10, someone criticised my singing voice. She said " You croaked like a frog. You can't sing!" The stinging words are still felt by me whenever I lend my voice to a teachers' day choir presentation. When I became a teacher, I realise how my words of encouragement or discouragment will have an immense effect on students.
Sometimes in a heated argument with my daughter, I fail to remember the power of my words. Hurtful exchanges are verbalised.I hope to do better with each passing day.
I hope you will too.

Our roles in life

I read the book by Steven Covey entitiled " The 7 habits of highly effective people" , the part that impresses me most of course if about our roles in life. All of us have different roles. One is an employee, or boss, or daugher/son, father/mum, sister/brother, husband/wife. Now I try to be balanced in all my roles if I can. I have seen cases of colleagues who are excellent and dedicated mums but as employees, they fail miserably. There are also those who are great workers but hopeless when it comes to giving support to their siblings, be it emotional or financial or otherwise.
I would want to live a life where people can say to me at the end of the day, ( hopefully not during my funeral) that I have been supportive of them in my different roles.
I forgot to mention the" being a friend "part, but I think many of us don't have problems in this are. We seem to have excuses for not doing more for our family memers. Do you agree?

platonic friendships

A friend just shared with me that her husband has a good best friend who is a lady. And she ,as the wife, is not jealous at all of the friendship. Her husband and friend have known each other since undergraduate days. They still keep in touch even after he got married.It is so refreshing to hear that true platonic frienships can exist and why not, one may ask. Surely, two matured individuals of the opposite sex can learn much from each other , through their sincere and genuine frienships, married or not. Does a good friendship between the opposite sex allow to exist only within marriage?
Of course, there must be boundaries , even in a platonic friendship. Maybe the common interest and attraction is only in the area of the mind and nothing physical.
If you are in a platonic friendship now, value it and let it nurture you in your life's journey.

platonic friendships

A friend just shared with me that her husband has a good best friend who is a lady. And she ,as the wife, is not jealous at all of the friendship. Her husband and friend have known each other since undergraduate days. They still keep in touch even after he got married.It is so refreshing to hear that true platonic frienships can exist and why not, one may ask. Surely, two matured individuals of the opposite sex can learn much from each other , through their sincere and genuine frienships, married or not. Does a good friendship between the opposite sex allow to exist only within marriage?
Of course, there must be boundaries , even in a platonic friendship. Maybe the common interest and attraction is only in the area of the mind and nothing physical.
If you are in a platonic friendship now, value it and let it nurture you in your life's journey.

The old- fashioned way

Lately, I have been thinking that the old fashioned way of doing things is indeed the better way.Let me explain. Boiling soup the slow way by using "charcoal" tastes so much better. This is confirmed by my niece whose dad, my brother, used to prepare soup in this manner, for the family dinner. The modern way uses gas or pressure cooker which doesn't do justice to the soup.

Getting to know one's spouse through matchmaking is the old way also. And we know how few divorces happen those days. I know, some of you will say that the married couples of long ago are more commited to the marriage or it could be that the non-working ( in the sense not working outside the home) wives had no financial independence and so were forced to stay put in the marriage, having no refuge to go to. Right? The new way of getting to know one's spouse t in these modern times include the cyber way BUT who can guarantee they are who they say they are. I should say there are prevalent cases of fake identities , or so I hear. Then recently the daily newspaper screams the headlines of how this married lady got to know her man friend through a chat service via handphones? I am not too sure of the details but what happened in the end was that she and her child were lured away from her husband by this sweet-talking guy . Her child also ended up dead in the hands of this stranger!

Then there is this petrol station where I go to fill my petrol. Now technology is such that it is self-service all the way . There used to be exchange of pleasantries between customer and cashier but now there is none!

Which way do u prefer?

Finally..

Reading blogs are entertaining and educational, at least , for me. Now I am trying my hand at it. And hoping for the theraupetic effect to take place while I blog.

Kid's final examination will end tomorrow. What a relief. I don't remember having to study so hard at their age. I will get daughter to sort through her stuff ....she has accumulated loads of it...so we will have more cupboard space. I also need to go through the many fiction books I have bought and give some away. Daughter and I are the clutterer at home.